Herding the Unheard

​Herd mentality is rarely ever more exquisitely and painfully on exhibition than at airport departures and arrivals. Before the weary and obviously exasperated, ‘we are now ready to board your flight’ announcer has uttered the embryonic syllables leading to children and elderly, a mass of mindless meat sprints the gate. Like some Olympic event, the focus on gold has obviously rendered these prime travelers deaf as donut holes, with as much attentive intelligence. 

The strategy of only rows 15 to 48 boarding first, has had a modicum of keeping them on their starting blocks. Although depending on country location, cultural cringe can certainly blow a rather large hole in the fuselage of seat allocation. For those Platinum Business & One World elitists, the experience of witnessing the ugly underclass surging forth must be akin to an incendiary bomb exploding in their cultural cerebellum.

Getting on, so to speak, is only the delicious entrée to getting off. #getting off the plane NOW, is such a predictable eruption. After suffering the inevitability of on boarding gangway meat jam, ‘please remain in your seats and don’t unbuckle your seat belt until the plane has come to a complete stop and the pilot has switched off everything in relation to the flying bomb your still in’, is obviously an unheeded and unheard ping in the herd’s heads. Meerkats on a mission, they most certainly are not. 

So begins the end of another infuriating and amusing experience of Herds on Planes. 

And as they saunter shuffle and head off to baggage collection, the signs pointing to yet another round of trolley warfare and who has the best bag grabbing position, is really the time of herd implosion and a perfect opportunity to turn the screws on each other.