ENDING PERMANENCY

Spending time with humans who were dealing with the reality that their time was up, one theme kept coming from the deepest recesses of their collective psyche.

Struggling to make sense of finality, one constant from the unraveling of what was left of their life stayed strong. Forward momentum was finished, not halted, stalled, stuttered.

Reeling from a brutal clinical shock that their existence was rubber stamped as finished, all plans hopes and dreams of a future within any previously normal parameters needed to be obliterated, abolished, annihilated. The clusterfuck that had become their inescapable and unbearable nowness had to be normalized at warp speed. Going back was not an option. What was left of the muddled mess that once resembled their ordered mind, took up residence in a walled in space. A waiting room designated for those dumbstruck dumbfounded and terrorized souls who had nowhere left to run. No place left to escape from the unavoidable reality of impermanence. New unknown and unwanted normal is very frightening for a species that does not like enforced change.

The pandemic is proving problematic and troublesome for humans who are collectively attention deficit. Such a fast paced 21st century interconnected globalized and overpopulated species cannot come to a crunching halt without some rupture to a reality that offered rapid growth. In that reality, where no matter the cost, greed was good, we now have rapid fix, rapid testing, rapid back to normal. All debris from the explosion of what was left of the old reality.

Terms like getting back to normal are used in a feeble attempt to deal with overwhelming shock, dissolve denial, soothe anger, buffer bargaining, soften depression and align acceptance in readiness for what comes next. But there is no anesthetizing this level of loss. No denying death. There is no comforting next.  This is loss of loss, industrial scale.

Everyone in these pandemic days is alone in dealing with a collective reality. Our conscious awareness that we exist, therefore we shall cease to exist. In a frantic disordered mind, surety and security are illusions that we insatiably seek and endlessly chase, attempting to make comfortable an uncomfortable reality.

The Pandemic has shown how instantly our existence can be altered, changed, extinguished. There is nowhere to run, escape, hide. We are all in a walled in waiting room, a basement space, with no protection from the gross elements of impermanence. We are collectively mourning the loss of illusion and facing our greatest terror.

The very real thought about reality.

That at any time, any moment, our time is up.